Chances are that you’ve heard of the health benefits of fasting. While fasting is not considered to be a tool that can achieve healthy weight loss, it does have other advantages. Some medical professionals say that fasting can help to detoxify the body, removing waste products from its cells. Fasting has also been used to treat serious health and immune conditions. Studies have shown that animals that eat fewer calories tend to have longer lifespans. Psychologists note that fasting for brief periods can help us to cope with stress and depression, as a way to take control of our lives.
Who Should Not Fast
Fasting is not for everyone, however. Medical professionals note that pregnant women, people with a history of malnutrition, people who have had cardiac arrhythmias, and people with kidney or liver problems or failure, should never undertake a fast. For others, however, periods of brief fasting can actually be good for us.
My Early Experiences With Fasting
In 1986, I began learning about fasting. I started juice fasting, hating it at first, but still fighting through the cravings and discomfort to get to the other side, feeling accomplished and cleansed.
I would soon learn the power of fasting to release feelings and messages within our minds and bodies. A friend and mentor of mine, Tom, was once fasting with me. He asked me afterwards what I experienced during that fast. I laughingly told him, “In a word, discomfort.”
Tom stared at me with his penetrating, insightful eyes and asked, “Ok, where did you feel that in your body and what came up for you?”
This question made me feel uncomfortable because, at the time, I didn’t have the answers. I hadn’t let my thoughts arise. I was the master at shoving distressing thoughts down. Instead of feeling what came up, I would exercise, run, talk to friends or read, pushing those thought back down where they wouldn’t upset me. I wasn’t even equipped at the time to handle any feelings that would come up because I didn’t know how to do so.
I told Tom that when I fasted, my thoughts were focused on how many more excruciating days of fasting were left. Then I would focus my mind on keeping myself busy so as not to experience the pain my body was feeling.
Tom said that this was a good start. He invited me to fast with him again the next month at a retreat in the woods. Knowing that I had missed something, I took his invitation as a challenge and agreed.
The Lake Tahoe Fast
The next month, Tom and I traveled to Lake Tahoe with a few others to start a three-day fast. As I met the other participants, I felt that they were ahead of me and understood the fasting process much better than I did. These fasters were so advanced, and I wasn’t sure why my mentor, Tom, would include me, a fasting novice, but I felt honored that he did. I also felt that he knew there was something stirring deep within me.
We each settled into our own cozy cabin tucked off the lake, nestled into the tall redwood trees. The night before the fast began, we met for a leisurely dinner at a nearby café. Dining on salad and soup, I felt very awkward and out of place. I tried to talk incessantly to cover my insecurities, while the other participants seemed to feel more relaxed and ready to partake in the upcoming fast, treating it as if it were some sort of spiritual ritual. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it was.
Later that night as we sat around the fire, the feelings that crept up my spine were of a child who had been chastised. No one had done anything to make me feel this way. I felt overly self-conscious and out of place, and I continued to talk to cover up these feelings. Although the other participants were kind and loving, their gentle silence was triggering something inside me that was making me feel uncomfortable. As I held back my tears, I quickly made my way to the restroom where I allowed them to roll down my face. My subconscious mind was on the verge of releasing an emotional storm that had been brewing for years.
As my mentor, Tom, walked me back to my cabin later and I turned to go inside he gently told me, “Don’t be afraid, ok?”
His words unleased a guttural heave from me, lurching from the depth of my belly, and I let out a sob. “Ok,” I said back. I felt my knees buckle under me.
Tom wrapped his warm arms around me and reassured me, “It’s ok, it’s always ok, I’m here. You don’t have to do this, and at any time if you feel uncomfortable, you can stop.”
His strength and gentleness made me feel safe, loved and warm. Embarrassment creeped up on me, however, as I felt my tears revealed my vulnerability and made me look weak. I fought feelings of fear, not wanting to allow them to come up to the surface where I could release them.
I crawled into bed that night and quickly went to sleep. I dreamed that I was being chased. I awoke at 2:30 a.m. feeling vulnerable, hurt, and scared. I tried to catch my breath from the fear this dream evoked. I felt that I was being led to release a demon that wreaked havoc on me to uncover my worst fear of not being loved. I felt nauseous. I paced the floor.
Finally, I fell to my knees, praying, “Ok, God, let’s make a deal. If you want me to release this, then help me to release it. I am so scared because this is what I’ve always known to be safe. I need to know that I am enough. I need to know that I am loveable.” Silence and Divine forgiveness spoke back to me.
Before I rose from the floor, something stopped me. I hadn’t forgiven myself. I didn’t even know that I needed to forgive myself. I asked God to let everyone else forgive themselves, too, and crawled back into bed. I sensed that I was being called to both experience and observe my process all at the same time.
The next morning, we all met at the property owners’ restaurant, and used their kitchen to make juice from fresh vegetables. The ambiance was inviting and celebratory. I felt lighter. Tom smiled at me. I felt that the group embraced me and that I belonged to them. We all loaded into the van for an easy trail hike. About an hour into the hike, however, I became frightened. I began thinking about wild animals along the way that could potentially kill us. We had nothing with which to defend ourselves, and I noted that I felt the need to defend myself. I recognized then that I had a fear of truly trusting. Realizing that most people don’t get eaten by wild animals on a leisurely hike, I relaxed and breathed deeply.
Then my mind began racing, worrying if we had enough water with us. What if we run out? What if someone falls and gets hurt? What if we encounter a rattlesnake? What if someone steals the van? I observed that my racing mind wasn’t allowing me to relax and live in the moment. I laughed at myself, saying out loud, “What if you just shut up and enjoy what’s here and now!” The other participants joined in my laughter, knowing exactly what I meant.
The Realization
As we continued to walk, I felt my heart open to love more. I breathed again, releasing my fears. Then out of nowhere, I understood. I had been poisoning myself with my own thoughts! Since I am the thinker, I can change what I think! By changing what I think, I change what I feel. By changing what I feel, my body responds in perfect resonance. By changing my thoughts, I could change my reality. I thought about what it would feel like to love myself, accept myself and trust myself because I know that within me is the same, penetrating force that created me.
I looked at Tom and said, “If we look at fear, fear looks back at us. What we penetrate, penetrates us.”
He smiled and began walking by my side. He stopped, looked up at the sky and said, “The devil masquerades as light. But the devil is not the light. The devil tries to convince us of its power by fear and negativity. Fear is a liar. The fear and the devil are aspects of your mind.”
As we walked on, I realized that if we give our attention to something, it continues, and it becomes a feeling. We must stay in the moment if we don’t want to feel badly. Anxiety is in the future; depression is in the past. The present is fresh and new. I knew that it was going to be very important for me to pay attention to my thoughts, feelings and messages that were coming up in my mind. Although they were on autopilot, I realized that I had the ability to change them.
How Does Fasting Bring Up These Messages?
Eating heavier foods tends to sedate our mind. Fasting quiets the mind so that we can listen to the messages our mind, body and heart need us to hear. When I ate less and less, more messages began to come up. I began to hear the things that I had been repeating to myself based on my gut reactions, from the brain in my gut to the brain in my mind. I had created a program in my mind years ago because I felt badly about a rejection, and I was playing the same program over and over again, creating the same results.
When I realized what I’d been doing, I began to work on changing it. I started listening to my self-talk. It was directed at a mood that was reinforcing old beliefs. I knew that I had the power to change it. However, Tom wouldn’t tell me how to change it or what to change. He told me that this was my journey, to uncover my way and create my life through the Divine intelligence that is always there to assist us. Call upon that before calling upon your friends. Talk less. You can do anything if you believe you can, and above all, trust what you know in your gut.
