When we tell you that you create your own reality, the subject of childhood trauma and illness inevitably arises. Parents struggle with the idea that they were, consciously or unconsciously, the cause of their child’s illness or trauma.
People ask me, “Does a parent influence a child’s environment to the degree that they can make them ill?”
Or, “Does a child choose to come into a life environment to experience illness and trauma? Does a child choose their own destiny?”
These are good questions, and difficult ones to answer.

How Do Genes Affect Our Development?

Genes are your code, acting as a blueprint of the imprint with which you are born. Your heredity, or genes, are transferred from your parent to you and determines some of your characteristics.
Science tells us that we can make ourselves sick. What contributes to illness is downregulation of our genes. Downregulation is the process by which a cell decreases the amount of a cellular component, such as RNA or protein, in response to an external stimulus (the environment). This decrease causes illness or disease. The complementary process that involves the increasing of such components is called upregulation. Upregulation enriches a cell’s energy, while downregulation decreases its energy.
What is epigenetics? Epigenetics literally means “above” or “on top of” genetics. It refers to the external modification of your DNA by things such as your environment and the attitudes and energy of those around you. These modifications do not change the DNA sequence, but rather, turn genes on and off. They affect how cells read genes. This energetic communication is always happening.
Epigenetics is the reason why a skin cell looks different from a brain cell or a muscle cell. All three cells contain the same DNA, but their genes are expressed differently (turned on or off), which creates these different cell types.

What is Epigenetic Inheritance?

Scientists hypothesize that it may be possible for us to pass on epigenetic changes to future generations, if these changes occur in sperm or egg cells. Most epigenetic changes that happen in sperm and egg cells are erased when the two combine to form a fertilized embryo, in a process called reprogramming. This reprogramming allows the cells of the fetus to start from scratch and make their own epigenetic changes. Scientists believe that some of the epigenetic changes in parents’ sperm and egg cells may avoid this reprogramming process, and make it through to the next generation. If this is true, things like the food a person eats before they conceive a child could affect their future child. This has not yet been proven to occur in people, however.
In 2002, my close friend’s nine-year-old son was diagnosed with AML leukemia. He was airlifted to Children’s Hospital in Los Angeles, and the doctors didn’t know if he’d survive the night. My friend confided to me that she had known something was different about her child when he was born. She said she felt it as a gut feeling she’d had from his conception. At the time of her son’s illness, she was estranged from her husband, who had become a drug user. Her life had been filled with his drama and their emotions were out of control.
My friend moved herself into Children’s Hospital with her son and made a life-changing decision. She decided that she would not allow her child to be afraid, which meant that she could not be afraid. Instead, she used visualization, healing methods, music, comedy, laughter, and endless focused prayer. With focused intention and unwavering faith, her son made it through two bone marrow transplants, endless testing, chemotherapy, an internal fungal infection, poking and prodding and witnessing other mates he bonded with lose their battle to cancer while he lived. The residual energy and emotions that resulted were beyond life changing. They were mind bending. One year later, he was cancer free and remains so. But what no one talks about is the impact upon a child who faced his own death and watched friends die at age nine. Life after cancer is never the same.

How Does Genomic Imprinting Contribute to Conception and Development?

There has been much scientific research in the field of genomic imprinting. Studies have shown that the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors of both parents that occur hours, days or even moments before a child’s conception cast the first genetic blueprint of the child. If either parent is living in an environment that is highly stressful and fear-producing emotionally, mentally or physically, that fear is energetically transferred into the sperm and egg cells. This emotional energy signature influences the child’s development. Scientists reason that this occurs as a function of evolution – so that the child can handle the same environmental conditions as their parents. This enhances the child’s chances of survival in a stressful environment. Survival of the fittest is in play here.
In several ancient tribal cultures of Northern Africa, Native Americans, Middle Easterners and Asian cultures, when a husband and wife were preparing for a marriage ceremony, they were separated from each other as well as from everyone else in their tribe. This ritual was not about abstaining from sex, but rather, a way to ensure that both people were fully prepared to be centered in love, strength and sanctity for the consummation of their union and production of their offspring. In this way, when they later consummated their love after the ceremony, they were both in a spiritually prepared state. They were creating life from the greatest expression of themselves. Even the ancients knew that parents’ energy transfers to their children, who were seen as a sacred gift to the tribe. This explains the Biblical meaning of, “What is of the flesh becomes the flesh and what is of the spirit becomes the spirit.” The moment the seed penetrates the egg, conception occurs. To conceive literally means to create or formulate, and parents (two becoming/creating one) are creating and formulating a powerful energetic influence upon their child.

How do Gestation and Birth Affect Development?

The process of making a human being starts with implantation. The fertilized egg is implanted into the mother’s uterus, and development begins. The most important aspect of a pregnancy is the mother’s blood flow. It is in constant communication with the child. The mother’s thoughts, feelings, actions and perceptions of the outside world further influences the development of the fetus during gestation.
If the period of gestation, as well as the time of the child’s birth, occurs in a stressful environment, and the child’s survival genes are activated, studies show that the child will have a smaller head circumference, a smaller forebrain, a larger hind brain and larger adrenal glands. Why does this occur? Because the mother was experiencing emotional turmoil and sending these emotional signals to her child during gestation and birth. These signals mold the child’s development to help him be better able to survive in a tumultuous environment.
It is also believed that, if a mother’s nutrition is not optimal during pregnancy, and certain vitamins and minerals are missing during critical times of a baby’s development, proteins in the baby’s brain can be affected. This, of course, can have a dramatic impact on the child’s development.
The father (or partner) also contributes to this process. The father, who is the provider, the protector, and the male counterpart (or other parent) of the mother, is supposed to make sure that the mother is safe during this time. If he/they are out of balance, emotionally unavailable, or abusive mentally, emotionally or physically, this, too, will have a drastic effect on the child’s development.
The birthing process also affects the child’s development. If the child was under duress during this time, or forcibly removed from the womb, this could have a negative effect on the child. If the birth was graceful, calm, ceremonial and ritualistic, this could contribute positively to the child’s development. Studies have shown that a child who is eased into the environment during birth will have a different immune system as well as a different perception of the world. This affects the child’s intelligence and emotional intelligence differently than that of a child who is born under stressful circumstances. However, the energy and love of both mother and father immediately after the birth can counteract a difficult birth.

How Does the Environment Affect Development After Birth?

Once the child is born, he is still affected by his environment. It is well-known that children model the behavior of those around them. Mirror neurons in the child’s brain emulate the behavior of others. For example, when a mother is holding her child, gazing lovingly at him, she is not conscious that she is transferring energy and actions to the child that the child will mimic. The baby’s act of observing his parent is actually priming his brain circuits, in a process called selection and instruction. Selection instructs the circuits so that the environment becomes a strong element in which the child begins to emulate, or model, the behavior of those around him.
Then, the very crucial first seven years’ of a child’s life occurs. During this period of time, a child’s brain waves are in the hypnotic delta and theta states. In these states, a child does not possess an analytical mind, so things that a child’s parents say during this time affects their development greatly: You’re like me, you’re worthless, you’re bad, money is everything, children should be seen and not heard. A child takes all of this in without having any way to analyze, edit or filter the information. The child before the age of seven is imitating his environment and acting solely on input from his primary caretakers. The Jesuits used to say, “give me the child and I’ll show you the man,” because they understood that if you could work with a child during his early development, you would instill in him very strong principles that would last for the rest of his life.
When you ask the question, “Did I choose my parents?” I don’t know but I suspect that that we do. What you should be asking is “What am I here to experience? What can I do to change this experience so that I pass on love? What is my purpose in life?” Once you are living from your awakened consciousness, your perspective and perceptions change. You recognize that you are a product of your environment, and that you can change yourself and your environment by changing your mind, your behavior, your words, your thoughts, and your actions. In doing this, your inner world transforms your outer world. Choice is our super power but only if we use it.

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